$50 for a ride, $25 for a blow
I feel like a prostitute. A fundraising prostitute. And I guess it won't end until my kid's out of school - or I become a worn-out, $2 a shot, toothless hag in a back alley whispering "hey honey, wanna buy some chocolate almonds? They're for a good cause!"
First was the Terry Fox Run. K's whole school did it, and while she wasn't required to get pledges, we as parents were "strongly encouraged" to solicit donations. So I sent out the requisite emails and K did make some money. Luckily it's a tax write-off, which encourages altruism. Good think someone benefitted from it, because my kid sure didn't. She ended up being "buddied" with a little 5th grader because there weren't enough parent volunteers (which I never heard they needed, or I would have gone along), and the 5th grader LOST her for few minutes. I'm sure my friends are SICK. TO. DEATH. of hearing about this by now, but it was pretty traumatic at the time. Anyhoo, I digress.
Then came the dreaded Girl Guide cookies. As a Spark, we have to sell them. It's the GG's only fundraiser and happens twice a year. We took our required 3 cases - 48 boxes - and because I'm a leader, we also took an extra one. Luckily the people I work with are carb and sugar hounds - it only took me 3 days to unload 3 cases. The following week we show up at the Sparks meeting to do a "cookie blitz" with the girls who still have some to sell, only to get 3 more cases shoved at me by an irate mother - who dropped her kids off late, no less. The cookie distribution process wasa clusterfuck a nightmare a little logistically challenged, and she ended up with 6 cases instead of 3. So she unceremoniously dumped her extra 3 cases on me and said "I'm not selling them." Great, lady, thanks. I'll just do it then. Because I love going door to door, exposing my 5 year old to any number of perverts and letchers, shlepping $4 boxes of cookies.
Now it's coupon books, courtesy of the school again, or should I say the Parent Advisory council. At least people get something out of them, besides getting fat. I've sold a few books at work, and I'm going to buy one.
I used to find fundraising freak parents annoying. Now I am one. Joy.
First was the Terry Fox Run. K's whole school did it, and while she wasn't required to get pledges, we as parents were "strongly encouraged" to solicit donations. So I sent out the requisite emails and K did make some money. Luckily it's a tax write-off, which encourages altruism. Good think someone benefitted from it, because my kid sure didn't. She ended up being "buddied" with a little 5th grader because there weren't enough parent volunteers (which I never heard they needed, or I would have gone along), and the 5th grader LOST her for few minutes. I'm sure my friends are SICK. TO. DEATH. of hearing about this by now, but it was pretty traumatic at the time. Anyhoo, I digress.
Then came the dreaded Girl Guide cookies. As a Spark, we have to sell them. It's the GG's only fundraiser and happens twice a year. We took our required 3 cases - 48 boxes - and because I'm a leader, we also took an extra one. Luckily the people I work with are carb and sugar hounds - it only took me 3 days to unload 3 cases. The following week we show up at the Sparks meeting to do a "cookie blitz" with the girls who still have some to sell, only to get 3 more cases shoved at me by an irate mother - who dropped her kids off late, no less. The cookie distribution process was
Now it's coupon books, courtesy of the school again, or should I say the Parent Advisory council. At least people get something out of them, besides getting fat. I've sold a few books at work, and I'm going to buy one.
I used to find fundraising freak parents annoying. Now I am one. Joy.
posted by TeeBee at 8:25 a.m.
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