Whut I Learnt On My Summer Vaykayshun
1. Carefully, thoroughly, and concisely figure out how much alcohol is needed for camping trip - then double it. When camping with mother, triple it.
2. Sleeping bags rated to +3 degrees may keep you alive at that temperature, but won't keep you even remotely warm.
3. The word "camping" seems to be synonymous with "eating everything that's not nailed down."
4. Don't be fooled by 4 year old who says she wants s'mores. Especially when she says she doesn't want the graham cracker part. Or the chocolate part. Or the cooked part. She's just jonesing for marshmallows.
5. When a man says he's going fishing "for a little while," understand that time apparently stops while on board a fishing boat. It's sucked into the same vortex that manages to consume the half sack of beer that also disappears.
6. Motorhomes that look like mobile homes with steering wheels on a sunny day feel more like small walk-in closets when it's raining. Especially when they're occupied by a whiny 4 year old, a whiny 2 year old, and my mother. See Lesson #1.
7. No matter how many times you wash them, no matter how many times you go swimming, feet will stay dusty and dirty for the entire duration of the camping trip. Learn to deal, or wear galoshes the whole time. Even in the sleeping bag.
2. Sleeping bags rated to +3 degrees may keep you alive at that temperature, but won't keep you even remotely warm.
3. The word "camping" seems to be synonymous with "eating everything that's not nailed down."
4. Don't be fooled by 4 year old who says she wants s'mores. Especially when she says she doesn't want the graham cracker part. Or the chocolate part. Or the cooked part. She's just jonesing for marshmallows.
5. When a man says he's going fishing "for a little while," understand that time apparently stops while on board a fishing boat. It's sucked into the same vortex that manages to consume the half sack of beer that also disappears.
6. Motorhomes that look like mobile homes with steering wheels on a sunny day feel more like small walk-in closets when it's raining. Especially when they're occupied by a whiny 4 year old, a whiny 2 year old, and my mother. See Lesson #1.
7. No matter how many times you wash them, no matter how many times you go swimming, feet will stay dusty and dirty for the entire duration of the camping trip. Learn to deal, or wear galoshes the whole time. Even in the sleeping bag.
posted by TeeBee at 8:23 a.m.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home