Only, the Lonely?

I took my daughter to a birthday party for one of her little daycare friends. Of the kids there, she was the only only child. One of the moms asked me if she was my only one, and when I said "yep" she answered back "wow, that's ... great!"

Isn't it amazing how one little ellipsis in a sentence can say so much?

Here are my thoughts on just what was contained in those little dots.

Wow, that's ... too bad! You must have some sort of strange and debilitating medical condition, because who would willingly choose to only have one child?
Wow, that's ... horrible! Your poor daughter will grow up lonely, spoiled, and strange.
Wow, that's ... incredibly selfish of you! How can you just think of yourself for such an important decision? Did you even ASK your daughter if she wanted a sibling?
Wow, that's ... unbelievable. Sometimes I wish I only had one. But it makes me feel too guilty when I do, so I think I'll look down my nose at you and cover my brief spurt of envy with a heavy dose of superiority.

There was another mom there, with three girls, all under 5 years old. I guess she looked happy enough, but she also looked incredibly tired. It makes me tired even thinking about it.

I don't think it's so rare anymore to encounter only children. For one thing, living where I live, daycare is not financially viable with two kids, especially one being a baby. I may as well not work. And if I was a stay at home mom, my children would either be dead or sold off within a year. So I think I made the right decision. I'm just saying.

Luckily for us, my daughter is incredibly well adjusted. She must get those genes from my husband, who I'm told was the original Gerber Baby when he was a kid - all smiles and giggles, no temper tantrums. My kid has her moments, but for the most part has always been pretty good. Which is fortunate, because I was a mess for the first year after she was born. It took a lot of time - and therapy - before I got to a point where I was comfortable with her and with my role as a mother. Gotta love post partum depression. Me and Brooke Shields, baby. Although I never considered ramming my speeding car into a cement wall. Brooke, you're all alone on that one, sister.

Do I ever have twinges? Not really. Sometimes I watch siblings play and think - actually, I know - my kid would make a great older sister. But I can't have a baby for her. She has her own womb for that. I look at my sister - pregnant with her second - and can't wait for the baby to be born so I can hold her. And then give her back.

So yes, I know in my heart I made the right decision. Despite ... those uncomfortable reactions from people.