Open Letter

To the little bitch who passed me in single lane traffic - on the right - as we were driving through a school zone with a high school on one side and a daycare on the other.

You know who you are. In the crappy blue Chevy Cavalier.

Maybe you didn't realize it was a school zone. They don't make those yellow triangular signs nearly big or bright enough, do they? Or maybe the picture of the small stick figure on the front is too confusing. That cellphone conversation you were having also looked pretty distracting. You probably had to yell over the music, too - Mariah Carey, was it?

I just want you to know something. Karma is a real bastard. He's a big, fat, ugly bastard that loves to shit on people. And one other thing - he has a finely honed sense of irony.

So I pray to God you don't grow up and have a kid one day. A little kid that looks just like you, that's the absolute love of your life, that you'd die for and kill to protect. A little girl with long brown hair and blue eyes. A little girl who goes to daycare, a daycare that takes field trips. All it takes is one split second for that teacher to look away - maybe a loud noise, or one of the other kids falls down. A split second for your little girl to step into the street without looking. Maybe she's laughing at something someone else said, or just excited to be getting out for the morning.

Then someone like YOU comes barrelling along. Someone who's not looking out for little kids - maybe because they're on a cellphone, with the music just a little too loud.

Let me tell you - a car versus a little kid is no contest.

So slow down, wouldya, and have a little patience?

I obey school zones because my daughter starts kindergarten this fall. Because when your little girl steps into traffic without looking, I hope to hell it's ME behind the wheel of the car - a person who is looking out for little kids.